I Don't Listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd

If you’re an unusually stylish person, people probably give you crap about half the clothes you wear. Maybe you bought overalls before they were fully back in style and your savage, yet well-meaning friends tore you apart when you showed up to drinks in dungarees from Topshop. We are all guilty of outfit shaming our friends, and sometimes they need it. Like it probably wasn’t my greatest decision ordering glittery plastic jelly sandals for $100 when I have no income and can barely afford a Starbucks (I literally keep my cup for like 2 weeks and just get free refills every day because I’m that broke).

So yes, I should’ve listened to my friends when they said those sandals looked exactly like the ones I played dress up in when I was five. Friends don’t let friends wear ridiculous clothes in normal settings. But when a stranger, or someone you barely know makes fun of something you’re wearing that probably cost you the price of like twenty Starbucks, that’s messed up.

This is one of the many reasons I have two separate wardrobes: one of clothes I actually love and spend weeks saving for, and one for frat parties. I didn’t always have this rule, and decided to wear my favorite sweater out one night. Sure enough about 20 minutes in, some guy says it looks like something he would’ve worn when he was 3. Okay first of all thank you for ruining my night with one sentence. And also I don’t know what world he lives in, but that would be one sexy af baby wearing a deep v neck sweater.

One trend that has recently gotten many people’s panties in a wad is the classic band t-shirt. Of course when I say “people”, I mean “pretentious jerks that only shop at thrift stores and Urban Outfitters”. And when I say “panties”, I mean “no underwear at all it’s more ‘organic’ or ‘natural’ or whatever”. These types of people won’t ask you how much you paid for your clothing measured in Starbucks. They only drink at local coffee shops because they’re too good for joy and Frappuccinos.

I saw a Tumblr post the other day from one of these types of people that read “When people wear band tees of a band they don’t like/listen to” with a gif of some emo guy saying “and you’re never gonna be cool, so stop trying”. I also saw another post that read “The Beatles didn’t die to be put on a t-shirt at Urban Outfitters”. Okay woah. That’s overall way to heavy and judgemental in general. Also, the Beatles aren’t all dead and it’s not like they died for some greater cause either. They died because everyone dies, it’s a requirement for life. And duh I’m always trying to look cool, but I’m not trying to pretend I listen to The Grateful Dead. I’m a basic Belieber and I’m proud.

We wear band tees because they’re comfy and baggy and basically a daytime extension of our dads’ old t-shirts that we wear to bed. The sole difference between those pj tees and band tees is that band tees are socially acceptable to wear in public and even considered trendy! Woo! So, artsy farts, next time you look up from your copy of Wuthering Heights and see an innocent girl in a Lynyrd Skynyrd tee, take a moment. Even though it may be your first instinct to say “I like your t-shirt, what’s your favorite Lynryd Skynyrd song?” in that smug tone that says “I own a record player and I’m judging you”, don’t.